Pathways

Imagine a wide open meadow in front of you, lots of space and flowers everywhere. No fences, no signs. What would you do? Would you dance around? Would you lay down and watch the clouds passing by? Would you start to explore? …

Now imagine the same meadow with lots of pathways crossing? Do you still feel like laying down, like dancing and exploring?

 The wide open meadow symbolizes the mind of a child. Everything is new, there is so much space and countless possibilities. It seems like everything that we imagine is possible.

Throughout the years and as we age, we walk across this grassland over and over again. There will be certain directions that we take more often and all the sudden little paths start to appear. They are almost invisible in the beginning, just a few cracked blades of grass but somehow these ways become more and more attractive. As we stroll along them, they start to grow a little wider and deeper. Eventually, we find our meadow covered with pathways. Some are small and we have to put one foot right in front of the other in order to stay on them. Other tracks feel so familiar, we almost take them every day and as they get wider and steeper, they start to transform into ditches.

All the sudden we might have to face the fact that it’s not so easy anymore to remain on the narrow paths or even stay on the few spots that are still grassland. It doesn’t take much to find ourselves back at the bottom of the ditch. Sometimes the small trails lead there. Some days, the wind blows and we stumble back in. Once in a while, there is a little butterfly that catches our attention and if we don’t mind our steps it only takes a heartbeat to find ourselves back again on the ground of the trench.

To be honest, most of us feel so drawn to our already known paths that the fact that there is a wide open space around doesn't even occur to us.

The more often we walk the deep canyons, the higher the walls start to grow, the more awareness it takes to get back up and out.

The paths we start to create can have many names, especially the ones with the steep walls. Fear, anger, jealousy, anxiety, judgment, self-doubt, guilt,… to name only a few. They get shaped by our experiences, habits, believe patterns, people in our life, politics, life circumstances, the way we grew up, the place we live, our work and so on.

Some people get very attached to their road and path network. It’s what they know and identify with. They often don’t even notice that they are back on old trails, they don’t question it and they would rather stay in there and watch the flood coming than trying to find their way out. 

Here’s the clue: You always have the choice. You can either remain right where you are OR you can work your way out, consciously being the creator of new road systems.

If you are like me, painfully aware of stored believes, old habits and thought patterns and struggling with perceptions that neither serves you or your surroundings than let me tell you something:

There is a way out. The open space is still there. The possibilities are still endless. All it takes is commitment and trust. Commitment to consciously create and walk new pathways over and over again until they feel so attractive and familiar as the old ones did. Trust, that there is something that guides you on your journey. If you only rely on your own strength, you will eventually end up depleted and devastated. Trust me, I’ve been there. But if you, allow yourself to surrender to the feeling that there is someone or something that guides your way, that supports every action you take wholeheartedly with courage, you will be guided. You can call this guidance any name you want. It doesn’t even have to have a name, a face, a color or a form. It can be a feeling, an inner sense of knowing.

Take time to sit down in stillness, connect with the times in your life when you felt full of joy, the moments that made you want to scream out loud “YES!!” at the top of your lungs. These are the times of deep connection. Take these moments in. How does it make you feel? Where can you sense it in our body? Does it change anything in your posture, your perception, the present moment?

Then ask yourself: How often do I feel this way in my daily life? Do the pathways I am walking make me feel this way? Do I feel joy, happiness, strength, peace, inspiration, trust, aliveness?

If your answer is NO, why do you remain on these roads?

I agree that life is not always full of unicorns and rainbows and yet, maybe it is. Maybe we can’t see the bigger picture yet. But we will never know if we don’t try.

I decided to try. The moment when I noticed that the old trails that I am walking on don’t serve me or anyone around me really well wasn’t fun. But it was necessary. What can I tell you at this point? That it’s a hell of a mission to consciously create new ways, but it’s worth every pit stain and every shed tear on the journey.

The first step is to get aware of the habits, thought and believe patterns, ways of reacting,… you are ready to let go of. Then commit, start and trust.

You can start it as your own, unique way of “retreat”, calling it whatever you want it to be: “30 days of healthy food”, “50 days of self-care”, “70 days of gratitude”, “12 days and a half of I try to be nice to myself even if it ends in an evening with a bag of chips and a bottle of wine on the couch”, “My juice cleanse, except that I don’t like juice and that’s why I replace it with smoothies”,… make it yours.

If you like to journal, write your intention down. If you like to paint, draw a picture. If you like to talk, record yourself. If you like to act, make a video of yourself. Again: endless possibilities.

Get creative, what is it that inspires you, that brings you joy? And then go and do it. Do it every single day and write, draw, dance, talk,… about your experience.

Of course, it’s not easy to stay on track and, as I wrote in the beginning, it only takes a gust of wind (comment from someone,…) or butterflies (certain life circumstances,…) to find yourself back at the bottom of the canyon. Back on old, well-known paths (anxiety, guilt, greed, doubt,…).

What I do in these moments is, I use something really simple and profound simultaneously. I use an affirmation that I found in one of Gabby Bernstein’s books.

The moment I hit rock bottom, I start to silently (or loud) repeat for myself: “I can see Love instead of this.”  (of course, you can replace “Love” with any word that resonates with you and with any quality that you need at the given moment).

Sometimes I don’t even notice that I am back on old, familiar ways. Sometimes I want to stay there, just because I feel incredibly sorry for myself. But at the end, and that’s something I can tell you now for sure, I don’t want to remain there.

This is your life. You can continue sitting on the passenger seat, being the powerless actor in a movie who’s role gets directed by limiting beliefs and thoughts OR you can take responsibility for your life by making conscious choices and become the creator of your own experience.